getyergoat (![[info]](http://l-stat.livejournal.com/img/userinfo.gif){kind=small} getyergoat) wrote,@ 2006-04-20 11:29:00 |
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| Current mood: |  melancholy |
| Entry tags: | angora goat-goatlady, death, goat, loss of pet |
The Loss of a Dear Friend
not because I did not love you, but because I loved you too much to force you to stay"
In Loving Memory~ Ma
1988? - April 19,2006
With tears in my eyes and a terrible pain in my heart- I lost my oldest goat- Ma, an angora wether who when I met him in 1993 was at least 5 yrs old-maybe older (according to the full set of worn adult teeth he had then). Which would make him at least 18 yrs old- more than likely closer to 20. Ma had declined in the last month and was eating very little although up until the storm last night had a gleam in his eyes and a will to live - I got him on his feet daily as he could no longer raise his large frame himself. I knew this day was imminent- But you never look forward to it.. even with the aged goats. He was a gentle gorgeous boy with a very sweet disposition. I laid with him with his big head cradled in my lap while I cried and then told him about all of his friends across Rainbow's Bridge waiting for him-
His best friend -Albert - leaned against me and just watched - a few times a tear fell from his eyes. I don't know how they know, but Albert seemed to know Ma was dying and even though I was there with him, seemed as though he wondered why I wasn't doing anything to stop it. How do you explain this to them? How do you tell them there is nothing more you can do to save their friend? Albert would lean down and nose to nose with Ma, seemed to be whispering something to him. Not all of the goat seemed to be aware - BabyGirl came over and talked to me, with a sad low talking voice. Seems as though she knew, maybe it was my crying. She had become friends with Ma because of his gentle ways.
Sometimes you just can do nothing. I could not bring myself to shoot him and other than the fact he was dying, he did not seem to be in any pain. It was as though he was tired and it was time. I believe when he got to the point of not being able to get up on his own, he realized he was no longer the strong goat he once was and basically gave in to his old age. As if he had been defeated by age . It is never easy- and while I love all of my goats- Ma was particularly special.
